Buttered Toasts and the Olive

I felt defeated this morning - anger, frustration - all seeping out of me as I felt defeated.  I was nursing while sporting a baseball mit in one hand trying to play with hudson all while trying to read grace fancy nancy - multi tasking yet feeling so pulled (no pun intended) in so many directions.  As I dropped my two off at school I was ALONE in my car - peace and freedom overwhelmed me as I drove along the pretty street with that one house that makes you stare and daydream it was yours.  As I drove along the smell of fresh cut grass filled me and made all my insides smile :)  then in Cest Si Bon buying some pastries and coffee and a lady in front of me speaking german - oh it soothed me - it flooded me with memories of mommy and being in Europe, going to the bakery - calm, peace, smiling again on the inside - I know that is where I get filled at the core - I thank God for these little gifts this morning - it gave me a glimpse to what could be my future.  As I realized my kids would all be in school one day I thought I don't want to rush this time, it has it's precious moments and these are the ones I want to soak in - not the defeated feelings.  He will not let me be defeated.  AMEN.